Broke Arse

Q: Why are all MBAs going back to school?
A: To ask for their money back.

• payday loans
• recession

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait. Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar per point." The next class the professor handed the graded tests back out. This student got back his test, his test grade, and $64 change.

Helium was up. Feathers were down. Paper was stationary. Knives were up sharply. Pencils lost a few points. Hiking equipment was trailing. Elevators rose, while escalators continued a slow decline. Light switches were off. Mining equipment hit rock bottom. Diapers remained unchanged. Shipping lines stayed at an even keel. Balloon prices were inflated. And batteries exploded in an attempt to recharge the market.

Lehman brother consultant (to press): We made 100 millionaires this year.
Reporter: What were they earlier?
Lehman brother consultant: Billionaires

Q: What is the difference between a merchant bank and
Katie Price?

A: Both are institutions whose reputation is built on assets that, on closer inspection, turn out to be entirely artificial, vastly over-inflated and in danger of going through the floor at any moment. But at least Katie Price is still worth something.

Q: George Bush was asked today “what did he think of the Credit Crunch?”
A: He replied: “It was his favorite Candy Bar.”

Jokes sourced from: BBC, Sickipedia, Daily Mail

Q: What’s the capital of Iceland?
A: About $3.50.

• credit crunch